That's Life

I am from October bad news,

Shock, numbness, fear,

Larry telling the family,

Books and TV to crowd out thoughts,

This can’t be happening-

How long will I live?

I am from Isaiah strength,

No surprises to God,

Use this for Your Glory.

I am from CT scans, bone scans, MRIs,

Clanging in a closed tunnel:

Gone!  Gone!  Gone!

Needles, IVs, port surgery,

Results, good news/bad news,

Bone-only, malignant.

What’s next?

I am from Taxotere, Carboplatin, Herceptin, Neulasta,

Dog tired days, sleepless nights,

Tasteless food, God-sent husband,

Struggling back to the new normal.

Goodbye, hair.

I am from love,

Casseroles and prayer,

Surprises from ze hat fairy and

Lots of bandannas.

I am from cards the size of posters,

Unexpected offerings,

The best friends on earth,

Walker Valley.

I am from

Seven hours of surgery, slow recovery,

Infection, ER, no toothbrush,

More surgery, then more, then more.

Long road.

Can I drive yet?

I am from curly gray locks I don’t recognize,

Achy bones that scare me,

A hot road to Knoxville,

Arimidex, Zometa, Wednesday Herceptin,

Mimi’s, Panera, Abuelo’s, McAllister’s,

Retail therapy.

I am from Jenny, Gina, Vanessa and Meredith,

Leslie, Kristie, Phil and Angel,

Betadine swabs, quick silent ouches,

IV bags, Bandaids.

I am from more scans to come,

One more surgery,

Lots more treatment,

Pink ribbons, hope.

Lord willing, I will be from

Sticky fingers and warm hugs of grandchildren,

Graduation hats flying in Johnson City,

Visits to Lindsey’s house,

Anniversaries with Larry

And, one day, wedding bells for Kevin.

That's the future.

Then Heaven -

That’s Life.

(*I wrote this poem sometime in 2009.  I was diagnosed in October 2008.)